Mike's Marathon Blog

I’d have to give this past weekend a grade of C. The first half an A and the second half an F-. I can only blame myself for the failing grade on Sunday. Here’s some advice on what to do and definitely what not to do next weekend!

So I mentioned in my last post that I was going roller skating. My sister and cousin decided to throw themselves a joint birthday party. If that’s not embarrassing enough, the location they chose was Skateland in Haverhill. I don’t even like to drive through Haverhill, nevermind go to some sketchy, dirty skating rink. On top of the location, they don’t allow you to skate with a hockey stick and Friday nights are ‘teen’ nights. Needless to say, this night had disaster written all over it.

First piece of advice if you’re looking for something fun to do next weekend – go to Skateland in Haverhill! Top 20 best nights of my life. Very unexpected, yet extremely entertaining! Low expectations always makes for a better experience. It was amazing! I knocked it, I tried it, I loved it! And little did I know that I’m a phenomenal rollerblader. I’ve already added ‘rollerblading’ to the Skills section of my resume.

I know you have questions.

1 – is that an enormous picture of Dr. J on your shirt?

Answer – Yes.

2 – did your cousin/sister throw a birthday party for themselves at Skateland with a 70’s theme?

Answer – sadly Yes.

3 – is that person on the left in a onesie?

Answer – same as #2.

4 – is that person shooting-the-duck?

Answer – Yes.

Second piece of advice for what NOT to do next weekend – do not attempt to complete an Olympic-distance triathlon if you haven’t trained for it. Also, do not attempt a triathlon at 1 pm on a 90 degree day. PS – do not go for a 5-mile run after a 21-mile bike after a 1/3 mile swim without any water in the blistering sun at 1 pm on a 90 degree day.

And to go from bad to worse, I went to see Twilight with Jacky afterward. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll watch a good chick-flick. I’ll watch a nice Pixar movie. I’ll spend an entire weekend on the couch with Harry, Ron and Hermione. But Twilight gets 2 thumbs and all of my fingers down. I saw the 1st one – terrible. When the 2nd one came out, I thought ‘I’ll give it another chance. It can’t be as bad as the 1st one.’ Wrong! I guess 3-times a charm for being tricked into seeing the worst movie series of all time. These movies are so bad, it boggles my mind. I’ve never read the books and I’m not saying the books are bad or the story behind the movies is bad, but the movies themselves are absolutely horrible. A vampire and a werewolf fight over some mute, awkward biatch in a hoodie over and over and over again. That’s it. I just saved you 2 hours of your life and $25. You’re welcome!