Mike's Marathon Blog

Not only is Jack preggers, but she is 17 weeks preggers! She has a belly and everything. I had a better picture to insert here, but apparently computers these days alert pregnant chicks when a picture of their bare baby bump is being uploaded to the Internet. It was immediately removed. So, picture a preg belly. That’s what it looks like.

This is the best I could do. And no, that is not a traditional New Year’s Eve pupu platter for 1 under her shirt. Trust me, it’s a baby!

So far, so good. You honestly wouldn’t know she was preg if it wasn’t for the bump. Well, you would probably notice her not consuming alcohol, which gave us away in the first place.

It’s sad when a girl doesn’t drink booze at a social gathering that people start thinking/assuming that she might be pregnant. We went to one party back in October (one party!) and our friends and family already started the whispering. And Greek people whispering is the same as normal people shouting. The sister tells the dad, the dad tells the mom, the mom tells the aunts, the aunts tell the cousins, the cousins tell the cashier at the supermarket, the cashier tells the guy who stocks the shelves and so on and so forth. And keep in mind that this is all after Jack drinking water at one party. One party! I wasn’t drinking that night either, but I was just called a loser, not pregnant.

After the first few get-togethers of ordering non-alcoholic beverages, you start seeing the side-stares. At restaurants, it was like Duck, Duck, Goose when the waiter was circling the table gathering drink orders. Everyone was just waiting for the ‘hopeful’ pregger to order. And when she didn’t get a glass of wine, all the eyes at the table locked together. There may have been texting to each other under the table as well, I’m not sure. You could hear the mind giggles and the ‘oh my gosh, she didn’t get wine! This is the 3^rd time in a row she hasn’t had alcohol at dinner. She’s definitely pregnant!!!!’

We knew they were onto us. I mean, the Hubble telescope could see they were onto us. So, we threw them a little curveball. At Thanksgiving, Jack asked for a glass of wine. The widened eyes and floor-stares were comical. We thought that would put an end to the pregnancy gossip. Twenty-eight years and I still underestimate these people. It didn’t end, it got worse. They all watched every single fake sip of that glass of wine. If someone missed seeing a sip, they were pulled into the dining room and updated immediately.

‘I’ve seen her put the glass to her mouth five times and the wine level is still exactly the same.’

‘I saw her turn her back and spit some back in.’

‘I saw the baby kick under her shirt.’

Don’t laugh, I guarantee someone thought that and told another family member.

We ‘surprised’ our families that weekend with pictures of the 1^st ultrasound. They said they knew and were just waiting for us to tell them. I think they were more excited that they were right and solved the pregnancy mystery.

My mom is already knitting the kid some hideous sweater.

…………and so it begins.