Mike's Marathon Blog

I could never be preggers. I think 99.9% of guys could never be preg. I am simply basing this comment on food consumption alone. Forget the 4,829 other reasons I could never be pregnant. I could never have food cravings and be allowed to gain 25-30 lbs in an 8-month time frame.

I gained 21 lbs from November 8^th to January 24^th. That’s only 76 days! That’s 2 lbs per week! To stick up for myself, I was coming off a full year of marathon training, stopped exercising altogether (for my back) and the holiday season couldn’t have come at a worse time. Add a new, pregnant wife to the mix and it was the perfect storm of weight gain. It’s kind of like we’re having twins, except my ‘baby bump’ is a lot bigger than hers.

As of today, I have gained more weight than Jack. Sad, I know. I’m actually having a much harder time during my ‘pregnancy’ than her. She’s been a serious trooper thus far. She never complains, never asks me to do anything and so far (I believe), there really haven’t been any issues with her pregnancy. Pretty much the exact opposite of how I’ve been during my ‘pregnancy.’ I’m always hungry, always sore, always worried about my ‘figure,’ never sleep and because of my back, I even walk like a pregger some times. I’ll have my hand on my lower back while bending slightly backwards. Jesus, I hope I’m not preggers!

As I’ve mentioned, I’ve already gained the recommended weight during pregnancy. The bad news is that I have 3 frigin months to go! I guess me and Baby X are going on a diet. Sorry buddy, but I have to think of my post-pregnancy bod right now! I’ve been doing P90X for the past 9 weeks and haven’t really seen any results (yes, I’ve still gained more weight than Jack doing P90X). You’d think the pregger would be the one constantly in front of the mirror? Not in our house. I’m always looking for some kind of P90X results and asking Jacky if she notices anything. Jack will say something like ‘I think the baby just kicked’ and I’ll be like ‘Jack, do you see this bump in my forearm? Yea, that wasn’t there a month ago. P90X – what’s up (while making an X with my arms)!’ Sad, I know.

You’d think I’d be getting in better shape and my body would start to feel better after working out for 2+ months? I’m almost positive it’s getting worse. It’s not even a question that I complain way more than Jack about our aches and pains. At night, Jack will be on the couch with Tula watching a movie or something. I’m watching the same movie, except I’m lying on the floor with ice packs on my back, wrists, ankles and (most recently) shins (still making the X sign with my arms). Sad, I know.

It’s not like Jack is soaking up the excuses to sit back and do nothing for 9 months. She’s on a steady diet and works out 4 days per week. She goes to Spin and Yoga class, does the Elliptical, lifts weights, hikes and snowshoes!

I think if we were having twins, it would be the same scenario as the actual movie Twins. She would pop out Arnold Schwarzenegger and I would have Danny DeVito. Short, fat, bald……makes sense.