Mike's Marathon Blog

Of course as soon as I write a positive post about Tula, she redeems herself as the worst dog of all time.

My parents rented their annual house in Ogunquit this past week. Tula headed up last Friday morning with my parents and Jack, Zac and I eventually made it up later that afternoon. I mentioned to Jack on the ride up that Tula was going to be PO’d as soon as she saw us. I knew she would think that she had a week alone at the beach with my parents and a nice break from her new brother/arch enemy. She could take walks with my dad, eat human food ‘dropped’ from the table and soak up 100% of the attention that she had become so accustomed to. She maybe experienced about 4 hours of that until we arrived.

Everyone was relaxing on the porch when we showed up. Her face was memorable as soon as we walked up the stairs. She was like a deer in the headlights when she saw us. She didn’t even bark, just walked over to my dad and sat underneath his chair, refusing to greet us. She wouldn’t come near either one of us the rest of the night. Jacky even tried bribing her with a piece of chicken, which she would normally never, ever pass up, and refused to go near her! She is the definition of a brat!

The next day, after probably realizing that we weren’t just visiting for a few hours, she warmed up to us and eventually let us at least pet her. She definitely never allowed Zac to receive all of the attention. If everyone was sitting around Zac on the floor, she suddenly had a toy in her mouth and wanted someone to play with her. If someone was holding Zac, she would walk in and out of their legs and some times even make someone hold her (usually my dad since he is the only one that would dare pick her up).

My parents have been renting the same house in Ogunquit for the past 15 or 16 years, so we have become friendly with many of the neighbors that live there year-round. That afternoon, one of the neighbors stopped by to say hello and introduce us to her new family member, a black pug named Olive. She was adorable and so friendly! She told us that after seeing Tula last summer, she decided that she wanted a black pug just like her! Wait, what?! Tula was your inspiration for getting a black pug!? Are you crazy!? We were all in shock. Honestly, within minutes, Tula tried to bite Olive’s face off. Strike 1.

Before we made our way to the beach on Saturday, we had to prepare the house for the 10-pound carpet destroyer. We set up her bed, laid out her multiple pee pads and most importantly set up a barrier at the top of the stairs so she wouldn’t venture down. The stairs lead down to a small area, with a door on either side, one leading to the garage and the other to a bedroom. Tula likes to go down stairs, but not up, so if she got down the stairs, she would be stuck.

My dad left the beach early, so he could go spend some quality time with Tula (seriously). Where did he find her (the last paragraph is obviously a dead giveaway)? She was sitting at the bottom of the stairs next to a gigantic puddle of piss. Strike 2.

Later that afternoon, while everyone was preparing dinner, playing with the baby, taking showers, etc, someone noticed Tula was MIA. Somehow she managed to escape the numerous porch barriers we set up and was wandering alone in the driveway (literally 10 feet from the main road). She was just sitting there, waiting for someone to notice her. I think it took 3 or 4 steak tips to get her back. Strike 2 ½. You would think the 2-month old baby would be the most work on vacation!

Tula’s strikeout came later that evening. The house is set up sort of like a town house. The garage is at ground level and you have to walk up a set of stairs on the side of the garage to get up to the 1^st floor. The stairs open up to the porch and the front door is on the other side. There is about a 5-foot roof overhang on either side of the porch. Most of us were relaxing on the porch while my dad was cooking on the grill, which is located on the ground in the backyard behind the garage.

(Zac and his new friend Nathan)

One side of the porch is the house and the rest is surrounded with typical railings. We assumed that Tula would understand that railings are built to enclose the porch area and prevent people/animals from falling. Once again, we underestimated the stupidity of this animal. After probably a few attempts, my sister finally caught my attention. She was pointing to the opposite side of the porch. Now I’m not sure if she was trying to avoid startling Tula or Jacky, since she would’ve had a heart attach if she saw what I was about to see.

I suddenly witnessed what my sister was pointing at and leaped off my chair. Tula was walking down the roof overhang trying to get a glimpse of my dad (her soulmate) grilling down below. The roof was not very wide and was extremely steep. I have absolutely no idea how she didn’t slide right off. Cats walk out on roofs, not dogs! She was frozen, realizing that she could not turn herself around without falling. My dad finally noticed her and was ready to catch her if she fell. I was screaming at her while trying to grab her through the railing. I eventually grabbed one of her back legs and dragged her back in. Strike 3, Tula.

She went home with my dad the next morning. Her punishment was living with him the rest of the week. Yea I know, nice punishment! He probably made her scrambled eggs and bacon every morning for her traumatic minute on the roof.